Against It All.

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H1N1

Thursday, August 6, 2009

today is the first day of H1N1's holiday!! yeah!! my school has to close since more than hundreds of students have those H1N1's symptoms. but no more fun though.my teachers left us tons of homework!! i really mean it! it's driving me around the bend!! i started doing my homework this morning. yay!! 5% is done! 95% to go!! i have to work my ass off because Percubaan SPM is just around the corner! it's less than a month i tell ya! shit! and someone is pissing me off! who else other than my sister?? she is never changed. i thought she'd change after all she had gone through. i've wrote what was happening to my sister ryte. the one that struggling to live after she was confirmed she had water in her lungs,Tibi and other illness. she was dying. i didn't mean i like it. but she told me that day she was really really dying..she couldn't see the chance to live anymore. everyone was crying that moment.everyone was thinking "she's better die than has to suffer like this". after she's recovering, she promised she was going to change, but it seems she won't change. all this while, she never loved me. all she loves to do is get on my nerves, and always pick a fight with me. she hates me so much. it's not worth what i did to her. i helped her to drink,to eat since she couldn't walk. but after she's getting well, all she does is mad at me and never satisfied with what i do even though it's not connected to her. today, she didn't buy me food.she bought for others. she told me that i'm lazy. so, are the others not lazy?????!!!!!! they're the same or even worst than me!! they didn't do anything this morning!! so, why me??? why just me alone!!!!!!???? why didn't she say the others are lazy too???!! like what the fuck!!!?? is she diligent enough???!!! she is not!!! who is doing the house works all this while??? it's my mom!!!! she always sleeps till afternoon!!!! and then get up from bed and just eat!!eat!!eat!!! so today my mom isn't here, she thinks she's going to bossing me around??!! ok now,let's see who is washing the dishes?? it's my brother!!!! what she does now??? fucking sister!! she's fucking narrow-minded!!!! it's clearly she doesn't like me!!!! i've always been bullied mentally by her. since i was so small. she never liked me. there was sometimes i felt like taking my life away. or kill her!! she's never changed..mom always advices her to change.sometimes my mom also told her "do u want to get sick again??? if u do, then u don't have to change.if you don't want to listen to me,then i won't be bothered to look after you if u're lying on the bed again . " see?? how bad my sis is even my mom said that?? i hope for her change. considering she's still my sister, i wouldn't say this---> "i hope she's going to stay sick the rest of her life!!". but if it's according to my heart now, i really want to scream it to her face!!! i want to let her know that i hate her soooo muchhh!!!!!!!!!!!